This post is more of a, “getting my feelings out in writing”, kind of post. I have been doing really good for the most part, these past few months, just minor hiccups, but nothing really major and traumatic has happened, thankfully. But something has been on my heart for a while now—–and that is rejection. It seems like at least once a week I am being rejected by someone who I love and/or care about, and I’m not coping well with it. It has brought my self-esteem to an all-time low. I haven’t talked about it or acknowledged it. It has just been an observation I have been making the last 3 years. A lot of my friends have left because they felt, I wasn’t a necessary part of their life anymore. I have dealt with heartbreak after heartbreak, whether it be romantically or non-romantically. My body used to physically hurt because my heart was hurting so much, but now I’m just numb to it all. All I can think about is what is wrong with me? Why am I never good enough for the people I care so much about? Am I not a good person? I thought I was, but maybe I’m not. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have done my dirt, and I am not innocent, but none of us are. But I didn’t think I was that bad of human being for me to lose every single person I care about. Guys, I’m just tired of the constant heartache, which I know comes with life. I’m not harming myself, but I am having a hard time coping with the fact that everyone keeps telling me how they don’t need me in their lives anymore. God, what did I do? I am trying my absolute hardest to push it to the back of my mind and forget about it, but I have been thinking about this for going on 3 years now, and I’m losing someone every week, it feels like. I start getting better, and then someone comes to me with rejection and it hurts so much. It’s starting to become unbearable. Does anyone have any tips or coping mechanisms I can use to get out of this funk and learn to accept the fact rejection is completely normal? If so, please let me know In the comments 🙂 .
This was a requested post by one of my followers to do a post on different coping mechanisms, which I think is a great idea. We all struggle on coping with different situations. Some have healthy mechanisms that work perfectly for them, others, including myself, have either unhealthy coping mechanisms or none. I am going to talk about the coping mechanisms that all of us can use to better out mental health, and hopefully cut out the unhealthy ones.
The first coping mechanism is to focus on one object examine everything about it. This allows your brain to redirect itself from the negative thoughts you are having to focus solely on that object that you see in that very moment. For example, if you are at work thinking about all the stress you have, focus on the pen that is sitting in the pencil and pen holder and examine its shape, color, density, etc. This can be done with anything, anywhere, at any time. The second coping mechanism is focus on your heart rate at that very moment and count its beats per minute. While you are focusing on your heart rate you can learn to control your breathing and calm your self naturally. The faster you notice your rate is, the more you’re likely to do things to slow it down which usually includes something that relaxes you.
The third coping mechanism write down what your feeling at that exact moment. Always carry a sheet of paper and a pen with you. Write the time you’re feeling that specific emotion and write it down. Later that day, or when you get a chance to sit down, reflect on how you’re feeling what happened that made you feel that way. It makes you more self-aware by showing you your reactions to specific events, so you know what to do differently next time. The fourth mechanism is to listen to your favorite feel good song. The song you would turn on if you were in the best mood ever, if you had just won the lottery. Whichever song that is, play it repeatedly to get you out of the funk for the moment. Long enough to get you out of it temporarily so you could finish what you were doing that day. My favorite feel good song is ‘All Night’ by Beyoncé. What is yours?
The fifth and final coping mechanism is to just cry. Crying is usually seen as something sad or negative, but it isn’t. In fact, it is an action of relief. When you cry, endorphins are released in our brains that make us feel better. That is why you feel slightly better when you finish crying. Whether you’re crying about something happy or sad, just do it, and you will feel a little better. Of course, this isn’t every coping mechanism because there are hundreds out there, but these are a few positive ones that I really feel help me, and I know would help some of you.
Hi beautiful people! It’s now a new year and I know a lot of our resolutions have to do with living healthier lifestyles whether that be with eating better foods or working out more! I know one of my goals this year is to lose weight and get a better health regimen. I am a consultant for a pure ingredients company that I’ve talked about in a previous blog post. They make pure ingredient based makeup, skincare, and nutrition! There is a deal going on for the month of January where we have 50% off of the 30 day cleanse I have talked about AND you get a free gel mask, free shipping, on top of, a free item up to $98!! Who wouldn’t want that? This cleanse has worked wonders for my friends and family, and I wouldn’t recommend you guys something I didn’t believe worked. The results are unbelievable. If this is something you would be interested in doing, comment below or contact me to get started!
Happy New Year beautiful people! It is day 1 of 365 which means that today is the first day to start your dreams and aspirations that you have been prolonging. Do the things you were too scared to do in 2018. Put your happiness and mental health first in 2019. Learn and work on self-love and acceptance. This is the year to go big or go home. Two-thousand nineteen is YOUR year! I am extremely excited to expand my blogging platform into something much bigger in the mental health community. I’m also very excited to get out of my comfort zone and be more productive to get what I need to get done to fulfill my dreams. I have a few new year’s resolutions that I already started working on today. What are your new years resolutions? Let me know in the comments below!