Breakups are hard. Should mental illness be used as leverage?

Breakups are never easy, whether they be friendships or romantic relationships. They ruin the glimpse of light we once had. They leave you sometimes broken, even years later. It isn’t easy coping with any type of breakup, and some handle it better than others, but wallowing in the loss of that special person, is detrimental to your mental health, and I should know, as I am still dealing with a breakup with my ex best friend that happened 2 years ago, and yet she has moved on completely.

I am doing so much better since the last time we spoke. It’s no secret that me and my mental illness were the reason for the ending of our friendship, and at the time I couldn’t see it because I blamed it solely on my mental illness. I was toxic to our friendship without even realizing. I made my problems her problems, and it took an obvious toll on her. I thought she was being hateful when she ended our friendship, but she was doing what was best for her own mental health. I was diminishing her mental health by sucking her into my illness. She will never get to know how much better I am doing, or all my accomplishments I have made in the most recent years, and I will never know hers.

Why am I still sad over it, you might ask? I am still very heartbroken because this person was my person. They were my shoulder to cry on, and the first person I thought about when I woke up. They were my absolute best friend. Some might’ve even called us family with how close were. We were never supposed to leave each other. She was going to be in my wedding, and I was going to be in hers, and now she wouldn’t flinch if something happened to me. It is so crazy how someone can go from being your everything to a stranger in the blink of an eye.

I wrote this post because some people feel they must stay in a toxic relationship with someone just because they’re mentally ill, and speaking from someone who is mentally ill, they should not fee obligated to stay in that relationship as it can be detrimental to their own mental health. Yes, it hurts when they leave because they promised they wouldn’t, but mental illness is serious, and some people just can’t handle it which is not a bad thing, at all. Do I miss our friendship? Absolutely. Do I wish she was still in my life? Of course. Will I ever move on? Eventually. But it is a process, one that took me longer than them. Mental illness should not be held over someone’s head, nor should it be overlooked.

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100 things that make me smile

  1. Beyoncé
  2. The office
  3. Iced chai tea latte
  4. Bullet journaling
  5. Blogging
  6. Finding money, I thought I had lost
  7. Seeing my family when I come home from school
  8. My mom and dad smile
  9. My best friends hugs
  10. Getting my nails done
  11. Art
  12. Buying new stationary
  13. Getting new clothes
  14. Finally paying off a bill
  15. Getting a good grade on a hard assignment/test
  16. Cuddling my dog
  17. Listening to a new album
  18. Getting a new phone case
  19. Reading devotionals
  20. Face masks
  21. Naps
  22. Scary movies
  23. Halloween
  24. Christmas
  25. Going to target
  26. Researching anything
  27. Cleaning my room
  28. Fresh sheets
  29. Candles
  30. Jesus
  31. Amusement parks
  32. Disney World
  33. Warm clothes
  34. Ice water
  35. Kerry Washington
  36. The show Scandal
  37. Smell of paint
  38. Makeup
  39. Glitter
  40. Talking to my mom on the phone
  41. A stocked fridge
  42. Crew necks & hoodies
  43. Going to the movies
  44. Cuddling
  45. Writing
  46. Football games
  47. Road trips
  48. Sherbert
  49. Dogs
  50. Doing my makeup
  51. Sunflowers
  52. Getting handwritten letters
  53. Writing handwritten letters
  54. Re-watching concert videos
  55. Rain
  56. Fall
  57. The mountains
  58. Old school music
  59. French fries
  60. The color blue
  61. The color black
  62. The color yellow
  63. Organizing
  64. Dr. Pepper
  65. Taking notes
  66. My book
  67. Getting my hair done
  68. Lash princess mascara
  69. Hanging out with my grandparents
  70. Falling in love
  71. Discovering new songs
  72. Cleaning out my emails
  73. The beach
  74. Summer
  75. A new fragrance
  76. Dainty necklaces
  77. Rings
  78. The Twilight series
  79. Marble
  80. Interior design shows
  81. Real Housewives of Atlanta
  82. Online shopping
  83. Payday
  84. A new pair of jeans
  85. Cheetah print
  86. Stars
  87. Documentaries
  88. Sweet tea
  89. Chick Fil A lemonade
  90. Slippers
  91. Kappa Delta
  92. Happy crying
  93. Raccoons
  94. My job
  95. Twitter
  96. Zaxby’s
  97. Strawberries
  98. Plums
  99. The Breakfast Club
  100. sunsets

Those are 100 things that make me cheese extra big. Comment below what makes you smile!

☆Bullet Journaling☆

I always talk about finding different ways of self-care to help better mental our mental health. I have found a new passion of mine and this bullet journaling, and I thought I would share that with y’all. Most people know what bullet journaling is, but just in case you don’t it is a creative journal you use to write down your past and see how you can do better. Planning you future and living in your present. There are many forms of bullet journaling. You can bullet journal for mental health, your job profession, or just for the heck of it. It is so relaxing and helps me organize what I need to do to get better in a more fun and creative way. Below are a few clips of my journal so far.

 

 

I have had so much fun planning out a bunch of stuff and being artsy. I am a very creative and visual person, so when I have a chance to make something that is not so fun, and make it creative, I do it. I challenge all of you to try bullet journaling to see if it is something you would be interested in. Whether it is for your mental health, organizing, or just to doodle because you’re bored. If it is something you are interested in, share it with your loved ones that you think would enjoy this. It is definitely a stress reliever for me. I hope you have a happy holidays!

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