Monday, September 24, 2018 I become a part of a national sisterhood, Kappa Delta sorority of the Delta Pi Chapter. Just a week prior to me becoming a new member of KD, I was becoming suicidal again, and almost relapsed with self-harm after being 8 months clean. I was feeling very, very, very alone. I had been missing my daily dosage of my meds, so I was naturally feeling terrible. I wasn’t doing my homework, I was slacking on my blog, and I didn’t talk to anyone, except my parents. Although I am much better than I was a year ago, I still felt extremely low, and unhappy. It was even becoming dangerous for me to be alone.
The weekend I became a new member, I was surrounded by girls who I didn’t know from Eve. I was genuinely scared to go into sorority recruitment alone because I was afraid I would be rejected, and continue to feel not wanted. Everyone had a best friend they went into recruitment with, and of course, I was alone. That is until the weekend went by. I met the girls in my recruitment group, and I met the different girls in the different chapters (sororities). I went to the Kappa Delta house, still feeling nervous I would get rejected, and instantly my heart grew times ten. These, now, sweet sisters of mine welcomed me without even knowing me, open minds and open hearts. I walked into the house, and had a genuine vibe coming from these ladies. I was so scared I wouldn’t get invited back to their house because I had poured my heart out to one of the girls and cried to her about everything I was going through and why I wanted to join a sorority. I mean, after all, the reason I wanted to be in a sorority was so I could find a family away from my family, and people who will hold me when I can’t even stand up, and I was just terrified that my story would scare them off, but God, oh look at God. Bcause only He knew the joy that was coming my way.
The day I received my bid from Kappa Delta, was truly one of the best, emotional, breathtaking days of my life because I knew these girls would be the reason I wanted to live, and boy was I right. My sisters have known me since the 21st of September, and it is now only the 27th of September, and they are already my best friends. They are my purpose for living. They are the reason I will continue to go on, even when I don’t want to. These girls just don’t understand how much of an impact they have had on me in the past week. They have showered me with love, reassurance, and acceptance, everything I have been yearning for. They are my family away from my family, they are my people, and I will love them until I take my last breath. AOT forever.